Rachel, this guy talks dirty to me
The writer, a media rep, wants to knows how to make him stop
November 2, 2012
At one agency I call on as a media rep I find myself dealing with a middle-aged buyer who goes out of his way to use language that makes me ill at ease and crosses over all borders of decency. It's not that he's coming on to me. It's more like a dominance thing, intended to keep me in my place. We are able to do business but I feel I need to stop this for my own sanity. But at the same time, I don't want to do something that will destroy the relationship entirely. Your advice? Sign me Tired of It All
You most definitely need to put an end to this, and frankly you should have done it a long time ago.
He is unprofessional in his behavior, to say the least. He's also a jerk and a petty bully who's using his position and the power that comes with it to compensate for inadequacies one can only begin to imagine.
You need to straighten him out first. Second comes what effect it may have on your business relationship, which, let's face it, doesn't have much going for it at this point.
You could go over his head to his boss but my guess is that his boss already knows about the problem and chooses not to put a halt to it.
There's a lot of weird thinking out there when it comes to the business of negotiating, and many believe using such underhanded tactics is perfectly acceptable.
Your best approach is to confront the problem head on the next time he begins to use language you find offensive.
Just blurt out exactly how you feel:
"Excuse me but I find that word offensive and I'm asking you to not use it in my presence."
"Please, I don't use that sort of language with you, and I don't want you use it with me. This is a business discussion, and that language has no place."
See how he reacts.
He may well apologize and clean up his act. You can hope for that, certainly.
But there's a chance he will attempt to laugh off your objections.
If that happens, get up and leave.
Walk out, and on your way out explain that you will not call on him again if he can't learn to behave himself.
He will likely be surprised at your response — bullies aren't used to being stood up to — and that may be enough to stop him for good.
But if he persists, go to your boss and explain what happened.
Then leave it to your boss to get in touch with the bully's boss and work things out. Neither side is going to want to end the business relationship over this person's behavior, and they will not let it happen.
Alas, voluntary layoffs hit Discovery Communications
‘The Goldbergs’ surges to a six-week high
Alas, New Day won’t see another one
The ever-elusive promise of podcasting
What to watch for at the Newfronts: Day four
Digital Content Newfronts blog: Day three update
Psst! The truth about Cinco de Mayo
Tell us, what’s the state of magazines right now?
Watching as the Millennials come of age
Cable overnights: Another slam dunk for basketball
Tribune to Gannett: No thanks, we’re good
Dish Network: Let us come fix your iPhone
Owners: We’re iffy on the Apple Watch
- Four join the digital agency Digital Pulp
- Jennifer Bradley becomes media relations director at MassMedia
- Elizabeth Boykewich rises to SVP of casting at Freeform
- Calandria Meadows becomes VP of social media at Bounce TV
- Brian Madigan becomes director of video at Real Simple
- Adam Jenkins becomes executive producer at Labs
- Adam Bernstein directing Spike TV's 'The Mist'
- Ryan Murphy working on FX limited series 'Feud'
- Natalie Morales becomes co-host on 'Access Hollywood'
This week’s broadcast ratings
This week’s cable ratings
This week’s top-rated movies, songs and books
This week’s daypart ratings
This month’s new media traffic data
This week’s younger viewer ratings
Assistant media buyer job in Fort Worth
Needed in Louisville: In-house media buyer
Memphis agency seeks a media planner
Needed: Globally conscious sales/marketing rep
San Diego opening for a digital marketing account manager