“Married to the Kellys,” ABC, Fridays at 8:30 p.m.

Telltale quote: “Family’s kinda like quicksand – the more you struggle, the deeper you sink.”

Overview: Tom and Susan are newlyweds who decide to leave New York to live closer to Susan’s family in Kansas (hence the show’s original title, “Back to Kansas”). 
    In a perfectly predictable series of plot developments and character introductions, audiences learn that the Kellys are a wholesome, close-knit family who sing grace and whose most exciting moments involve a rousing game of Taboo.     
   Tom’s (Breckin Meyer) move to the Midwest isn’t without its life lessons. In his first dinner and game night at the Kellys', he learns about “the doghouse system,” which keeps track of family members who deserve ridicule. He is also informed that what New Yorkers might call “soda” is referred to there as “pop.” 
   And in case audiences mistake the setting for New York or Chicago, Tom and Susan’s new apartment is appropriately decorated with a painting of cows in a field. 
   Thanks to this new offering from ABC, viewers can learn that corn-husking is not the same as corn-shucking, and that any good Taboo team needs a name and ultimately, a cheer.

Verdict: There’s no denying it -- Breckin Meyer is cursed. After a promising start in movies with roles in “Clueless,” “Go,” and “Road Trip,” he has failed to find a successful foothold in TV. 
   His last network project, “Inside Schwartz” was dumped out of the prized 8:30 Thursday timeslot on NBC before it finished its first season. Now he’s back as basically the same character in a series overrun with small-town stereotypes and giddy family members. 
   The only thing worse than how desperate the show is to be funny is how determined Meredith Monroe was to be a part of it all. The former “Dawson’s Creek” star was cast as Susan for the pilot and re-auditioned for the series but ultimately lost to Kiele Sanchez (from last year’s ABC flop “That Was Then”). 
   ABC was so impressed with Monroe’s tenacity that they offered to keep her around for another possible pilot. She may have lost the part, but at least she retained her dignity. The same can’t be said for Meyer and Sanchez.
   While it follows the same silly family-based formula of ABC’s other TGIF sitcoms, “Married to the Kellys” is poorly matched with lead-in “George Lopez” and is unlikely to make a dent in CBS’s “Joan of Arcadia” or NBC’s “Miss Match.”
  
By John Rash

“Married to the Kellys,” ABC, Fridays at 8:30 p.m.

   This show was originally entitled “Back to Kansas,” because Hollywood honchos apparently think the difference between Manhattan and Manhattan, Kan., is so vast that only this vacuous comedy could bridge it.
   Ironically, however, network TV -- amongst other franchising, nationalizing and homogenizing dynamics -- has blurred the regional distinctions that once made road trips so interesting. So not only did “Seinfeld” play in Peoria, it was No. 1 in Peoria -- and in Pennsylvania, Pensacola and Pendleton, Ore.
  “Married to the Kellys” serves neither town nor country, as Midwesterners and midtowners will both find this sitcom silly (if not offensive) with lines like "The Jews? Aren't they the ones who killed our Lord?" (asked of the Jewish husband by the Christian in-laws). 
   Indeed, “Married to the Kellys” may actually wed the country even closer, as they can have the shared cultural experience of rejecting yet another sitcom starring Breckin Meyer, just as they did with NBC's “Inside Schwartz.”

For past Media Life reviews of the new fall shows, click below.

ABC's "Karen Sisco"

NBC's "Miss Match"

CBS's "Joan of Arcadia"

ABC's "Hope & Faith"

CBS's "The Handler"

NBC's "Coupling"

CBS's "Brotherhood of Poland, N.H."

CBS's "Navy NCIS"

ABC's "I'm With Her"

WB's "One Tree Hill"

NBC's "Las Vegas"

CBS's "Two and a Half Men"

WB's "Like Family"

Fox's "Luis"

ABC's "Threat Matrix"

UPN's "All of Us," "Rock Me Baby"

UPN's "Eve"

WB's "All About the Andersons"

WB's "Steve Harvey's Big Time"
WB's "Run of the House"
UPN's "The Mullets"

UPN's "Jake 2.0"

NBC's "Whoopi"
NBC's "Happy Family"

A.J. Livsey's fall season overview