Best of the worst
of 'The Reagans'

Selected passages from CBS's 86-ed biopic 

By A.J. Livsey

   The CBS miniseries "The Reagans" is on its way to Showtime, after controversy and protest drove the network to can the project. It's unclear how Showtime expects to edit the CBS version of the cast-off miniseries, but those curious to know what all the controversy was about can decide for themselves. Salon.com has posted a 200-plus page version of the script on its site, with a disclaimer that subsequent edits may have been made before the final product was scheduled to air. The script begins with Nancy Davis as a young woman in Hollywood who meets and eventually marries Ronald Reagan. The story then follows Reagan and his family through his career, including as spokesman for GE, his run for governor, and his presidency, including the attempted assassination and the Iran Contra scandal.

'Jews and Queers'
Dr. Loyal Davis (Nancy's step-dad) talking about Hollywood: "As far as I can tell, it's nothing but Communists and drug addicts."
Nancy: "It didn't used to be this bad, did it, Mother?"
Edith Davis: "Hell, no. When I was here it was just wall-to-wall Jews and queers."

Reagan as not too bright
Reagan, as he prepares for publicity pictures with a chimp for the movie "Bedtime for Bonzo": "Television is for somebody who's all washed up. I'm not washed up."

Reagan as Nancy's patsy
Edith Davis to Nancy: "The only thing that's important is you and Ronnie. Kids will come and go, but if you're good to Ronnie, you'll have him for the duration."

Reagan as Nancy's patsy
Reagan to children: "You guys try to keep it down, okay? Mommy's got a headache."
Patti: "Yeah, and we're it."

Reagan as not too bright
Holmes Tuttle, about Reagan running for governor: "Reagan's not an actor, he's a movie star. Besides, it's good that he doesn't know anything about government. It makes him more of a man of the people."

Reagan as Nancy's patsy
Ben Welden, about encouraging Reagan to run for governor: "I've been talking to Ronnie about running for years ... He's not interested."
Tuttle: "Well, maybe you've been talking to the wrong Reagan."

Nancy as a total bitch
Nancy, to Mike (Reagan's adopted son from his first marriage): "I'm not your mother. I don't have to want you. Go back to your real mother and your real father - whoever they were."

Reagan as a right-wing fascist
Patti's friend at boarding school, upon learning that Reagan has won the governor's race: "Look out, everybody, Hitler's just been elected governor."

Nancy as a total bitch
Montage of newspaper headlines: "Fancy Nancy Turns up Her Nose at Governor's Mansion," "Nancy Eats Out, While Hubby Cuts School Lunches," "Welfare is a Cancer, Says Reagan," "Reagan Issues Biggest Tax Hike in U.S. History"

Reagan as a right-wing fascist
Patti, as a young adult hippie: "Gerry Ford is a real argument for birth control. Gerry Ford ... Richard Nixon ... not to mention my father. The pigs have taken over, you know?"

Reagan as not too bright
Patti: "Elvis is dead. He would have made a better president than Daddy."

Nancy as a total bitch
Nancy: "Patti, I'm telling you -- there will be no more blue jeans permitted in this White House. Women will not wear pants of any kind. We do not wear clogs. We represent our country."

Reagan as a right-wing fascist
Al Haig, Secretary of State: "If it's Armageddon you want, give me the word, and I'll pave over the USSR, Libya, and Cuba, too."
Reagan: "Oh yeah? Can you pave them over, put parking stripes on them and be back in time for the 4th of July?"

Reagan as insensitive
Reagan, to Nancy about gays with AIDS: "They that live in sin shall die in sin."

Nancy as a total bitch
Nancy, reciting what she wished she had said to Mrs. Gorbachev: "No wonder your husband always looks so bored -- because he's married to you, you Stalinist!"

Nancy as a total bitch
A performer mimicking Nancy at the Gridiron Dinner (a roast for the president): "We're living like kings. So what if Ronnie's cutting back on welfare? I'll still wear a tiara in my coifed hair."


November 10, 2003© 2003 Media Life


- A. J. Livsey is a staff writer for Media Life.


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