If it were on the Sci-Fi Channel, the techno-race showcase "Robotica" (Wednesdays, 9-10 p.m. ET, beginning last Wednesday) would make an adequate addition to its primetime lineup. 
    But on the cable outlet TLC, the new series is another indication of the network's growing identity crisis.
  Note the brand name TLC. It's not The Learning Channel anymore. Parent company Discovery Communications ditched "Learning" due to its wonkish implications, leaving an inscrutable acronym.
   Sure, there's Tender Love and Care, which might apply to the network's cuddly daytime mix of reality shows about babies, weddings and makeovers.
     But what does that theme have to do with its primetime hit "Junkyard Wars," which pits two teams against each other in a contest to see who can build the coolest contraptions out of spare parts?
    And then there's "Robotica," an obstacle-course competition between remote-controlled robots. The premiere episode began airing immediately after a network-branding promo hailing  the dramatic "human" element of TLC. I can't think of a better segue to a show about automatons.
    Not helping "Robotica" either is its timing. 
   Comedy Central's eerily similar "Battlebots" has already been on the air for a full season, and Sci-Fi is ready to unveil a "Robodeath" special. 
    And just this week, Viacom announced the U.K. series "Robot Wars" will be adapted for MTV, TNN and Nickelodeon.
    Can you say "Roboglut?" If anyone tries to remake "Tron" or "Short Circuit," call your local Congressman.
     What's bothersome about both "Robotica" and "Battlebots" is their definition of robots. If you're expecting those bulky behemoths from '50s monster movies, prepare to be disappointed; picture your VCR on a pair of wheels, and that's your typical cable TV robot. They may have names like "Mini Inferno," but they're about as fearsome-looking as your laptop.
    Watching them maneuver through barrier-filled mazes isn't as exciting as it sounds either. For all their ballyhooed technology, they move with the grace of driver's ed students attempting to parallel park. 
    And when these so-called robots are incapacitated, they simply sputter to a halt. A ball of fire, or at least some sparks, would make for a more dramatic demise.
    Whoever years ago at "Dateline NBC" rigged a pickup truck to explode (and ended up igniting controversy instead) is probably out of work, and TLC might want to give that person a call.
    To overcompensate for the lack of drama, there's a beautiful set accompanied by pulsating music and lighting right out of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire."
    Also supplying extra hoopla is host Ahmet Zappa, who must coordinate the manic phase of his bipolar disorder in time with "Robotica" tapings. His antic stylings have also been on display for recent game shows on MTV and USA, and neither lasted very long, yet somehow he keeps popping up.
    "Robotica" should still prove to be a good counterpart to TLC's "Junkyard," but who knows where this channel is headed next. After all, this is a network where the motto is "life unscripted," yet the biggest news at its upfront Monday was its foray into scripted long-form drama.
   Here's a suggestion for the new TLC name: Totally Lacking Concentration.

April 9, 2001 © 2001 Media Life

-Andrew Wallenstein is the television critic for Media Life.

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