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surely the last, dirty old man
Goldstein did not invent sex. But smut, well...
By Jennifer Cox
Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep.
Al Goldstein, a large bearded gray-haired man, is wearing a suit jacket of snakeskin. A little weird, that jacket.
His mouth is going. Ugh and such a mouth it is, too. I can feel the red rising up my neck and across my face.
He is leaning back in his king-size leather chair behind a cluttered desk. He seems a bit aged against the dark leather.
His office is a sea of pornographic memorabilia, strewn this way and that. My eyes glance from one item to the next: a penis light-switch cover, a picture on the wall of Goldstein performing sex acts on a woman, a scattering of anatomically correct dolls. A bottle of Viagra sits on the desk.
Goldstein reaches for a cigar from his humidor and lights up.
Here he goes again. I can feel another flush of red rising up.
"I’m the highest paid p***y eater in America," he declares.
Goldstein, for those who don't know, is the granddaddy of American pornography, or at least he makes a pretty good claim to be.
Goldstein founded "Screw--The World’s Greatest Newspaper," in 1968, seven years before Larry Flynt’s more celebrated Hustler hit newsstands.
The weekly paper’s message was simple: "Sex is Fun."
Screw, now 32 years old, can still be bought for $2.95.
Goldstein promised then, and still promises, a no-holds-barred look at sex.
"We promise never to ink out a pubic hair or chalk out an organ. We will apologize for nothing. We will uncover the entire world of sex," he wrote in the first issue.
This may have been a welcome message to readers, but the cops took a harsher view.
Goldstein was arrested on 19 different occasions for breaking obscenity laws during the first three years of publication.
In the time since, though, his porn empire has grown considerably.
"We’ve had offers to buy the company for $30 million or $40 million. We hope to go public within the next two years," he says.
Goldstein, now in his mid 60’s, keeps himself busy by having his hand in nearly all aspects of the business.
There is "Midnight Blue," a weekly cable television show airing in New York City since 1972.
The show features Goldstein offering up often outrageous opinions, primarily related to sex. He interviews porn stars and airs clips from their movies. In a regular "F**k You" segment, Goldstein mouths off in a free-ranging attack on whoever has annoyed him that week.
But Goldstein’s most engaging venture these days is his internet site, Screwmag.com, which he began last year. The site features Screw magazine archives, chat rooms, sex games, video feeds, escort ads and of course lot and lots of obscene pictures.
"Right now almost all my materials are available on the internet. With video screening we now have snippets of my show Midnight Blue," he says. "We have archives that will soon be available with segments of all my shows."
Goldstein says the internet is clearly where pornography is headed.
"The print medium is obsolete," he says.
"For 31 years I’ve been limited by obscenity laws. Now with the internet I’m not. The government hates the internet because they can’t control it," Goldstein says.
"I feel like East Berlin after the wall went down. The walls have been torn down with the internet. Free at last, free at last. Thank God almighty, I’m free at last," he says.
"No matter what country you’re from, China, Iran. Whether your government approves or disapproves of the material (on the internet), it’s available."
Although Goldstein believes his company’s livelihood is rooted in computers, he admits he is technologically challenged. He says he has purchased several Palm Pilots in the last few years, but has yet to use one of them because he can’t figure out how they work.
Goldstein says that what separates Screwmag.com from its competitors is that it never takes sex too seriously.
"I think our website is the Mad magazine of porn sites. We’re fun. We know, essentially, people just want to be entertained," he says.
"Pornography is intrinsically boring. It's all just about the penis and the vagina, the c**k and the p***y. It’s redundant. So you need to make it fun.
"I think we have the best website on the internet. Playboy’s boring. Penthouse is stupid. We entertain," Goldstein says.
"The best thing about Screw is its total political incorrectness. We’re gonna make fun of everybody-- blacks, Jews. I have a tasteless sense of humor--it just needs to be funny. In the end we all laugh so we won’t cry. Right?"
Goldstein says he is proud of how far America has come in viewing sex in a more positive, realistic manner.
"We’ve come so far. Before, Playboy couldn’t show pubic hair; to be gay was to be totally ostracized; women couldn’t admit they had sex. Things are more honest now," he says.
Goldstein claims at least some of the credit.
"We’ve made huge strides. And I helped change the face of pornography," he says.
"I came out six years ahead of Larry Flynt. I was more of a pioneer. People who know pornography know Larry stole from me. He got credit for my ideas. Larry’s not that bright."
He admits to some jealousy.
"I understand why Hollywood found his story more interesting then mine. He got shot. He had a wife that died of AIDS.
"Why do a story on me? I’m happy. I have a good life. I love my life. I’m the highest paid p***y eater in America!"
-Jennifer Cox is a staff writer for Media Life.
