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Big hair affair:
Remembering 'Dynasty'


It was all so 80s, the jutting shoulder pads

May 2, 2006

Last night's Yankees vs. Red Sox battle had nothing on the tiffs that'll be rehashed on CBS's "Dynasty: Catfights and Caviar," a reunion show of sorts that airs at 10 tonight. The knockdown fights between big-hair sporting Alexis Carrington Colby (Joan Collins) and Krystle Carrington (Linda Evans) are the stuff of primetime soap operas.

Who doesn't remember the first time they saw the heavily made-up mavens drag each other into a pond and pull each other's hair (and shoulder pads) out with wicked delight?

Besides Collins and Evans, the special will include appearances by John Forsythe, who played patriarch Blake Carrington and is best known to moviegoers of a certain age as the voice of Charlie in the "Charlie's Angels" films.

Pamela Sue Martin, Al Corley and Catherine Oxenberg also chat about their most famous roles. The over-the-top acting and heaving bosoms were a staple on the show, which aired during America's real-life period that celebrated material hedonism.

This marks CBS’s special big sweeps stunt during May, coming after Sunday’s decent outing for the Tom Selleck movie “Jesse Stone.” But don’t look for the “Dynasty” rehash to give CBS a huge lift.

Aside from exceptions like last year's "Happy Days" special, which drew 18 million, reunion shows traditionally don't all that well in the ratings. And at a time when "Lost," "Desperate Housewives" and "The Sopranos" are television's it shows, "Dynasty" falls into a nether region where it's not old enough to be a classic yet too old offer any relevance. 

So why would anyone tune in to this special (which, oddly enough, is airing on CBS even though the 1981-1989 series aired on ABC)? Perhaps to remind viewers of the weekly campy fun and mindless scripts that managed to weave in plots involving comas, massacres and kidnappings with twisted seriousness.

And then, of course, there're those shoulder pads.

 

A look at this week’s top TV draws

TUESDAY, MAY 2

Time

Network

Program

Description

7:30 p.m.

ESPN

“NFL Draft Wrap-Up” (S)

Analysis of who went where and how they’ll impact their new teams.

8 p.m.

CBS

“NCIS” (D)

A drug dealer dies at headquarters, and Ziva’s a suspect.

8 p.m.

Fox

“American Idol” (R)

Each of the final five perform two songs, one from the year they were born, the other from the current Billboard charts.

9 p.m.

NBC

“Scrubs” (C)

Dr. Cox shows up to work drunk before he’s forced into a leave of absence.

9 p.m.

Fox

“House” (D)

Part one of two has the doctors treating a cop who was injured in a shooting.

9 p.m.

Bravo

“Blow Out” (R)

Season finale. Jonathan shoots his first national commercial.

10 p.m.

CBS

“Dynasty Reunion: Catfights and Caviar” (A)

Ahh, the smell of May sweeps stunts is in the air.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 3

Time

Network

Program

Description

8 p.m.

Fox

“House” (D)

The second of a special two-parter, which should boost Fox’s weekly average.

8 p.m.

UPN

“America’s Next Top Model” (R)

While in Thailand, one of the models heads to the emergency room.

9 p.m.

Fox

“American Idol” (R)

The tension is hot now as only four contestants will remain after tonight.

9 p.m.

NBC

“Dateline” (N)

Another special edition of NBC’s news magazine, which last week helped boost its Wednesday.

9 p.m.

ABC

“Lost” (D)

Jack and Kate finally return to camp with some details about The Others.

10 p.m.

CBS

“CSI: NY” (D)

The team finds a dead woman dressed as a mermaid in the East River.

10 p.m.

TV Guide Channel

“25 Things You Didn’t Know About Supernatural TV” (A)

A look at shows like “Medium,” “The 4400” and “Ghost Whisperer.”

THURSDAY, MAY 4

Time

Network

Program

Description

8 p.m.

UPN

“Everybody Hates Chris” (C)

Local hoodlums give Chris tips on how to raise money selling cookies.

8 p.m.

NBC

“Will & Grace” (C)

Will and Vince are back together, which makes "It's all about me" Grace worry about what will happen with the baby.

9 p.m.

CBS

“CSI” (D)

An assistant movie producer is found dead on the loading dock of a casino.

9 p.m.

NBC

“My Name is Earl” (C)

Earl tracks down a former crush he once shot with a BB gun.

9 p.m.

Fox

“The O.C.” (D)

Seth, already worried about college and women, finds something else to worry about.

10 p.m.

Discovery Military

“Iraq vs. Iraq” (N)

Comparisons between the 1991 war and the current one.

10 p.m.

CBS

“Without a Trace” (D)

A single dad and his two kids disappear from their home.

FRIDAY, MAY 5

Time

Network

Program

Description

8 p.m.

Fox

“School of Rock” (M)

Funny 2003 movie starring Jack Black as a failed musician posing as a substitute teacher.

8 p.m.

CBS

“Ghost Whisperer” (D)

Season finale. Hundreds of spirits ask Melinda for help at the scene of a plane crash.

8 p.m.

Discovery

“Deadliest Catch” (R)

Crab fishing in Dutch Harbor, Alaska.

9 p.m.

NBC

“Las Vegas” (D)

Delinda has an answer to Derek’s proposal.

9 p.m.

Comedy Central

“Stand Up Nation with Greg Giraldo” (C)

A Cinco de Mayo celebration featuring a slew of comics, including Carlos Mencia.

10 p.m.

CBS

“Numb3rs” (D)

Hackers take control of Don’s checking and savings accounts.

11 p.m.

HBO

“Real Time with Bill Maher” (C)

Maher delivers more of his left-leaning comedy.

SATURDAY, MAY 6

Time

Network

Program

Description

2 p.m.

NBC

“NHL Hockey” (S)

Coverage of the conference semifinals of the Stanley Cup playoffs.

3 p.m.

CBS

“PGA Golf” (S)

Third-round coverage of the Wachovia Championship from Charlotte, N.C.

5 p.m.

NBC

“Horse Racing” (S)

The Kentucky Derby live from Churchill Downs.

8 p.m.

ABC

“Seabiscuit” (M)

The perfect movie to follow-up your Kentucky Derby viewing.

8 p.m.

GAC

“Grand Ole Opry Live” (T)

Trace Adkins, Joe Nichols and the Oak Ridge Boys all perform.

10 p.m.

CBS

“48 Hours Mystery” (N)

Eric Moriarty investigates the death of a dancer in New York.

11:30 p.m.

NBC

“Saturday Night Live” (C)

Tom Hanks hosts with music provided by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

SUNDAY, MAY 7

Time

Network

Program

Description

Noon

NBC

“National Heads-Up Poker Championship” (S)

Coverage of the Round of 16.

3 p.m.

CBS

“PGA Golf” (S)

Final-round coverage of the Wachovia Championship, won last year by Vijay Singh.

8 p.m.

Univision

“Bailando por un Sueño” (A)

Season finale of Univision’s popular dance competition show.

8 p.m.

Fox

“The Simpsons” (C)

Marge develops amnesia, meaning, in her mind, that she’s single again.

9 p.m.

ABC

“Desperate Housewives” (D)

Tom gets fired from his job and Gabrielle and Carlos come to an agreement with Xiao-Mei.

9 p.m.

HBO

“The Sopranos” (D)

Christopher makes an announcement to the crew while Paulie tries to cut corners at a street fair.

10 p.m.

ABC

“Grey’s Anatomy” (D)

Derek lets his emotional side get the best of him, which is obviously something you don’t want to do when working at a hospital.

A = awards show or special, C = comedy, D = drama, DD = daytime drama, G = game show, K = kids, M = movie, N = news/documentary, R = reality, S = sports, T = talk/variety show.

 



Jae-Ha Kim is a Chicago writer.




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