Dear Rachel,
I have my annual review coming up and I am hoping to discover more information regarding my potential future with my company. I've been in this industry for three years as a buyer, and I don't have any idea what my co-workers make, or what my ceiling may be. I love the company I work for, but I want to be more aware about my professional outlook within my company. What questions should I ask? What questions, if any, are not appropriate to ask?— Puzzled

Dear Puzzled,
Receiving a review is a great time to have a frank discussion with your boss about a variety of topics, and your future in the organization is one of them.

Finding out what your co-workers earn won’t be part of that discussion, as I am sure you can understand.

As to asking about your own ceiling, it is better to assume the sky is the limit. Again, don't ask.

Your concern is what your next raise will be. If you are a good negotiator, you may persuade the agency to pay you considerably more than they had planned.

But be mindful of a few things going in. Many supervisors approach reviews with trepidation because they know the stress reviews generate and how easy it is to have their comments misinterpreted.

Since the reviewer will be looking for your reaction to his or her remarks, you have a good opportunity to manage the climate and tone of the meeting.

The more positive you are, the more you will get out of it. Look at this whole dialogue as an opportunity to connect with you supervisors, and without sucking up.

What they reveal will tell you all you need to know about your future if they themselves are at ease in the conversation. They will tell you what you are doing right and what wrong. Listen.

If you get some criticism thrown at you, don't take offense or get argumentative. That's a conversation-ender.

Admit you made a mistake. Don't blame others for whatever went wrong, even if it was their fault. It's far smarter to say, simply, I should have been more on my toes on that one. It makes you look better, as someone who's willing to step in and solve problems. Tell the interviewer you learned something from the incident. 

No one expects you not to make mistakes. We all make them. What matters is your ability to learn from them.

"Talk about your goals and aspirations, but remember to keep it in the confines of job growth," says Kurt O’Hare, president of the Manhattan recruiting firm O’Hare and Associates. “Asking your supervisor what you need to do to become a copywriter may cause them to cross you off their list of future buying supervisors.

“But be frank and open about what you feel your strengths are and where you need to learn more and develop. Rather than ‘When will I be promoted?’ ask about specific skills. For example, talk about how you have tried to teach and supervise your assistant and inquire if they have any comments about how you could improve your supervisory skills.”

O’Hare says you actually need to make your reviewer feel at ease criticizing you.

 “A technique I've found very effective is to make it easy for the person to deliver bad news,” O’Hare says. “But this is the stuff you need to know more than you need to know the details of what you are excelling at. Phrases like ‘Sometimes I feel like I could be handling negotiations with a rep better -- here's what happened’ and ‘What would you have done?’ can work well.

“It's not about you telling them you did anything wrong. You are wondering if you did it the best way possible. This allows them to talk about it without worrying it will hurt your feelings. You don't need someone telling you how wonderful your tennis serve is but rather what you can do to be better rushing the net.”

Help the reviewer define your future by letting him know what you want to do and what you are willing to do to get there. Is there additional responsibility you can take on that will help you develop as a potential supervisor? And would he be willing to be your mentor and sounding board if you have questions or need direction?

Be ready to read between the lines. Giving someone constructive criticism is very difficult no matter how helpful it is to the listener. You need to listen carefully for clues and comments that indicate you could have done something better, because these are the issues that will hold you back.

It takes a strong person to take criticism and a smart person to keep it in the context with which it's given. But within the context of your review, you have a good chance to figure out how you are doing and understand what you need to do next. A review that doesn't include areas that need development isn't very helpful to your career.

It's called managing up, and it can be far more important than managing down.