Dear Rachel,
I’m in a fix. I should be happy about my new promotion, and I am, but I see a conflict brewing that I just don’t know how to handle. I got the supervisor’s job over another woman, and it’s someone I never really got along with. I know she is angry about being passed over. Now I have to manage her. I’m sure you’ve run across the situation numerous times. What’s your advice? Sign me Mixed Feelings

Dear Mixed.
This is in fact a quite common situation. Someone wins, someone loses in the promotion sweepstakes, and the loser isn’t happy. The two people could be friends but even then there’s bound to be issues. And here in your case it’s a woman you’ve never really gotten along with.

I have two pieces of advice.

First I'd go to management and explain that while you very much appreciate the promotion you see a real problem with this other woman. I’d put it as a request for advice and direction, but what you’re really doing is laying the problem in their lap, which is where it belongs.

If they’re smart, and even it they’re not, they fully knew that she would be bent out of shape over not getting the supervisor's title, and they should have been aware that the two of you were not on the best of terms.

I think the burden is on them to sit down with her and talk through whatever issues she has about being passed over and in the process making it clear that she’s going to have to figure out how to work with and for you, her new boss.

If they don’t offer to do it, I would ask them to do so.

They could refuse. Some managers believe it’s up to their supervisors to work through problems with their subordinates. But I think you see less and less of that these days.

But I wouldn’t leave it entirely to your bosses to sit down with this woman. I think you should too.

It’s very important, I believe, to get issues like this out in the open and resolved one way or the other. Letting them fester is an invitation to trouble.

I think your conversation with this woman should be direct.

Explain that the purpose of the meeting is to work through the differences you have. Acknowledge that you’ve never been close but make it clear that you have a job to do as her supervisor and that you are not going to let past difficulties get in the way.

Press her to make the same commitment to you.

If she’s smart, and she perceives that you’re going to treat her fairly, despite your past differences, she’ll probably come around.

Ideally, things will then go smoothly. If they don’t, well, then the ball is in management's court, as the saying goes. If a month or three months down the road she’s impossible to deal with, you then go to management and let them deal with her.