Dear Rachel,
Help! I am part of a management team that has a new member who's just been promoted from within. While she's nice enough (to your face at least) she keeps getting "failed up" the organization. Her internal reputation among other managers is that she's not successful, won't give a straight answer to a question, and isn't trustworthy. (For example, she blatantly exaggerated a "success" in a managers meeting just this week by a good 200 percent.) She exhibits unilateral (and poor) decision-making skills and communication skills. She's the queen of the management buzzword. What she lacks in real management ability, however, she makes up for in personal charm, charisma and looks. She was (repeat was) a good sales person and is a good cheerleader. This appears to be why the boss loves her, but she's killing team morale and the boss isn't seeing this. As someone who hates office grandstanding and people who will stretch the truth, how do I deal with this?-- Frustrated in New York

Dear Rachel,
It's easy to see why you resent her. She sounds rather odious.

One approach is to discuss your issues directly with her.

"Confronted with any conflict, you should always go directly to that person," says Houston-based life coach Jennifer Cobb, who specializes in handling workplace politics. 

But keep it low-key and use neutral, non-inflammatory language.

"Use ‘I statements’ like ‘When you do this, I feel...’ Stick with visible, measurable behavior. For example, you can’t just tell her she is killing team morale. You need to say something very specific like ‘I felt when you cut me off in the meeting that I wasn’t being heard."

Explain to her as discreetly as you can that when she exaggerates in meetings and grandstands, it wastes everyone's time and hurts morale. Explain that you work as a team and that she needs to work with others.

You may be surprised at how she reacts. She may be insecure and not realize how her behavior is coming across. But don’t expect a 360-degree turnaround. At best she'll tone it down.

But before you do this, spend a few minutes to analyze what is motivating you in this conflict. In your resentment, do I detect a tinge of jealousy?

I wouldn't blame you for being irked that the boss likes this insubstantial character who fudges the truth and rewards her with promotions. It is easy to resent others who are succeeding when they don’t deserve it.

But let's be realistic. You're probably not going to change her or the situation.

What you can do is get a firm grip on your reactions.

"You need to clarify what your own goals are," Cobb says. "Try to figure out what you are trying to get out of this job, and stop comparing yourself to the other person. Instead of bringing down the other person, focus on your own goals. You may find she is not getting in the way of your goals at all. She may be going in a different direction."

This may seem like touchy-feely advice for the shark tank we all know media can be. But it's probably the best advice.

It may turn out, as you think about it, that you decide against talking to her. Chances are, it would be the smarter decision.

In business, you need to know when to stand and fight and when to stand back, and this seems a time to stand back. You will encounter many people in the media business who get ahead on charm, half-truths and political grandstanding.

You can't fall on your sword in front of all of them.

At some point they will fail, stumble, get caught in a big lie, or in some other way be found out. Leave it to others to bring them down.

In the meantime, ignore her and work around her. Refrain from gossiping about her. Move ahead with your work and your life. You'll be surprised how much better things will be when you refocus on what matters to you.

Just think about this for a second. Consider how much time people spend complaining about her, tearing her down, and resenting her. Hours and hours and hours. They gain nothing and they sour their lives in the process.

Whatever you do, don't go to the boss about her. You will only hurt your cause and your career. If he or she has fallen for this woman's patter and shallow charm, your pointing out her many failings will only infuriate that person.