Dear Rachel,
A few months ago I relocated to pursue a job in a different city. After staying there a few months I realized that I wanted to move back home and so I started looking for a job. I interviewed with an agency and they even went as far as showing me around their building and they seemed really interested and asked for references. I called my previous boss, who I thought I had a good relationship with. We spoke a few times a week after I started my new job and when I called to ask him if he would give me a good recommendation he sounded like it wouldn't be a problem.  He even told me what he was going to say and then went off on a tangent, speaking badly about my former boss and even other people in the company. I never said a word and just listened, because I really wanted him to give me a good recommendation. He emailed me the day the other agency called him and he said he told her I was better than sliced bread and went on and on about how much of a hard worker I am. A few days had passed, and the woman was not getting back to me. She then emailed me to tell me she was looking for someone with less experience, and they hired the receptionist. These were all lies because I have a friend that worked at the agency I was interviewing at. I later found out that my former boss gave me a bad recommendation. I was so mad and had no idea what to do. I tried reaching him a few times but no answer. I guess he knew what he had done. I am now back in my hometown and working. It's funny because I'm in a higher position than I was interviewing for at my previous job, and now I'm interacting with a lot of the same people that he communicates with. My question is: What would you do in this situation? And do I have any legal rights based on the circumstances?-- Angry Media Buyer
 
Dear Angry,
Keep in mind that your continued success is your greatest revenge. 

What's important is that you landed a better job, and your ex-boss's bad reference didn't affect your career.

Without being able to prove you were damaged, you'd likely have a tough time winning a case against your ex-boss. 

But beyond that, you should think carefully about whether you want to make an issue of it. The last thing you want in your career is a lawsuit on the books against a former boss. That would make finding your next job very hard. 

Similarly, while you could contract you old agency, you should think twice about it.

“Had you not landed a good job, and had the bad reference interfered with your search, it would have made sense to call either the department head or the director of HR and tell them your story,” one New York media veteran tells me. “They would most likely move on this very quickly, since they know they have legal exposure.”

But keep in mind that their first job is to protect the interests of the agency, and your complaining to them could come back to bite you at a later time.

Say you wanted to return there. There would be a note somewhere indicating that you had complained about your old boss.

If you do choose to say something, put it in just the right way. Note that you ended up with a better job, and that you are not complaining, just letting them know what happened for their own good.

They'll know exactly what you mean. At some point, he'll presumably bad-mouth someone else, unfairly, and that someone else won't be able to land a job as a result and will file suit, which the agency will have to defend, likely at considerable cost.

HR people know better than anyone that a bad reference can come back to haunt them. It's why so many agencies will give out only the minimum information when called for a reference and have strict rules governing who can provide references. 

But my best advice is to forget the whole thing. You worked for someone who turned out to be a dork, and now you're out. You've moved on. It will only continue to anger you if you dwell on it.

The reality is that there are a lot of dorks out there, and life is often about getting past them to enjoy the things that really do matter.

If there is anything to be gained from this, it might come from pondering why you trusted him in the first place when you heard him tearing down others. That should have thrown up a dozen red flags.

Clearly, he is someone who has to find fault with everyone, a real complainer.  It's a good reminder that people who knock others will not be hesitant about knocking you too.

But then don't dwell on that too long either. Life is too short to be second guessing ourselves at every juncture.

Your one delight in all this is that at some point you will run into him, and he will know that you know he bombed you. He will be extremely uncomfortable.

You will be extremely charming, not saying a thing, and in all that showing that you are a bigger person. He could wilt before your very eyes.