Dear Rachel,
I'm not sure this is a common problem but it sure bugs me. I am a junior planner, not long out of school and living away for the first time. My problem is my nosy boss. She thinks she is my mother and is forever prying into my personal life outside of work. She acts as if she is protecting me from something but in reality she has no real life of her own and appears to be spending a lot of time minding other people's business. Others in the department find her annoying, but I get the worst of her snooping because I'm the youngest and I guess the most vulnerable. Please, how do I shut this woman out of my life?-- Minding my own business in Chicago

Dear Minding,
Some problems readers write in about take a bit of puzzling to come up with the appropriate course of action.

This is not one of them.

You need to muster up your courage and tackle this babe head on. Some people never figure out that other people's business is not their business, and you will run across them throughout your career. So now is the perfect time to learn how to handle them.

The next time your boss begins to pry, take her aside and explain in the nicest terms possible that you consider your life outside of work to be off limits and that you would prefer she not ask about that outside life.

You can sugar-coat it and say that she know she means well but don't put so much sugar on it that she fails to get the message.

Make sure also that you do it out of earshot of others. The last thing you want is a public scene.

Also, don't bring it up with your work friends after your talk. You do not want it getting back to her that you put her in her place. That will only deepen the pain of rejection she'll likely be feeling.

Keep in mind that your boss is not going to take it well, no matter how well she behaves when you have your chat.

You'll have to accept the possibility that she'll take her resentment out on you at some point. Your best strategy, should that happen, is to bear with it, always remaining courteous, even if you'd like to strangle her.

At some point she'll get over it. Or she'll move on to another position, or you will. In work, as in so many other areas of life, time is a wonderful cure for what ails.

Whatever you do, do not wimp out on having that chat with your boss. Trust me, she's only going to get worse. You need to act before that happens.

Good luck.