Dear Rachel,
I'm lucky to have a good job at an agency I like and working in media, which I love. I also work with my very good friend, call her Elaine. But I have a serious problem with her and I need your help. She has three children that she adores, as you could imagine, but she has their pictures all over the work space we share and she talks about them endlessly. When they come into the office, she drags them around to meet everyone, and they settle in near my desk. They are sweet kids but the whole thing is driving me crazy. How can I tell her in a nice way, friend to friend, to cut back on the kid chatter?-- Earful in the Midwest

Dear Earful,
I have heard of everything, and I have to say I think I have an answer for just about every problem, but this one is a toughie. How do you ever tell a friend anything that's sure to cause pain at some deep level?

Let me take a shot at it.

Obviously, she's a proud mom, and like all proud moms she devotes her every thought to the lives of her children. But unlike stay-at-home moms she doesn't have a vast network of other moms she can trade stories with. So she shares them with you, her workmate and friend.

You need to get her to see you cannot fill that role as a fellow mom and that it makes you feel uncomfortable.

I would take her out to lunch and just explain it to her as gently as possible.

You know what to do. Preface it all by saying how much you adore her children and how well behaved they are. And yes, you do care about what's going on in their lives.

But then explain that you find the constant flow of information about them quite distracting. Explain that as workmates you have a lot of things that need to get done each week and that the conversations about her children are getting in the way of that. You can explain that's it’s not doing either of you any good.

Do the best you can is the only advice I can give.

If she is a good friend, she will be hurt at some level but she will come to understand what you are telling her. That's what friendship is about.

Good luck.