Dear Rachel,
With the holidays rolling around and these hard times, I face a ticklish issue, and maybe you can help me figure out a solution. Every year at my small agency we have a Christmas party, and while they are often fun, there's also an annual ritual of gift-giving that I despise. I can't use any other word. It ruins the evening, and for years I've been wanting to get out of it. How do I do that without hurting the feelings of my boss? She's run the whole thing for years.-- Angst in Akron

Dear Angst,
I sympathize. The holiday season at media agencies can be lots of fun with all the parties and the chance to kick back with friends and clients

But someone always figures out a way to overdo it, and the goofy gift-giving stuff is exactly the way. The worst is the kind where you pick a name out of a hat and buy that person a surprise gift.

It's like being back in elementary school again. The person doesn't like the gift, and probably didn't want to receive it any more than you wanted to give it. And as luck would have it you end up drawing the one person you like least in the entire shop.

But this year you are in luck, and if you handle it right you can not only get out of giving a gift but put an end to the whole sorrowful ritual. And everyone will love you for it.

Here's how.

Go about the office talking this idea up, or better bring it up in a staff meeting. Your idea: With times being as tough as they are, and so many people out of work, passing out gifts among the staff seems an unnecessary extravagance. Instead, you propose that everyone in the office chip in money to give to a local charity for the needy, perhaps a food bank.

Trust me, no one will object. Others will be just as happy as you to see an end to gift-giving. And good souls that they are, they’ll be happy to contribute to whatever worthy cause the group decides on. So it's win-win.

I'll bet even your boss will be relieved.

She has probably long tired of arranging the gift-out-of-a-hat raffle year after year and has to know that others resent it. Like you, she's searched for ways to end it gracefully but never found one.

She may never openly thank you for putting an end to it, but in her heart she will hold you in special regard.