Dear Rachel,
I'm deeply conflicted. I've been in media planning for 20 years, and I just don't care anymore. For a long time I thought it was because of the ad recession, which has been pretty rough for our agency. We're all working longer hours. But as I thought about it over these past several months, I've come to realize I'm simply no longer interested. I can do my job, and do, but my head is elsewhere. And I don't know where that is, frankly. I don't know what other kind of work I would want to do. Please help!-- Lost in the big city

Dear Lost,
Don't feel so conflicted. Also, don't feel alone. Lots of people go through what you are going through.

The issue is whether it's just a phase or whether in fact you are indeed ready to change careers.

You sound like this is not a phase and that you are ready to move on.

If you are, well then that's good, and it's also more and more common.

Lawyers quit the law and become priests, or chefs. Engineers decide they'd much rather run a bed and breakfast in the islands, and so they pack up and leave.

Lots of very fine people chuck high-paying jobs to become teachers because they want to give back, bless them.

So many of us, all of us really, begin careers when we are young that seem exciting and just what we want to do with our lives. But as we grow older, and often wiser, our values change. Our interests change. We change as people. It's natural.

In a lot of cases too, the choice isn't really made for us. It's made by our parents, or we make it for their sake.

How many people do you know who went to law school to please their parents? Mom and dad said you need something you can always fall back on in the event your career as a circus clown or go-go dancer or poet doesn't pan out. So off to law school they went, never really wanting to be lawyers.

Your heart has to go out to them if these years later they are still in law and deeply unhappy.

The question facing you is, if not media, what?

I would spend a lot of time examining your values and interests, but I would also recommend seeing a career counselor and getting yourself tested.

They are in the business of working with people just like yourself, and they have lots of insights to offer on career changes and how to make the best choices.

At the least, talking to them will make you feel better about your decision, and you could well learn a lot looking at the results of the tests. You stand to learn a lot about yourself you didn't know.

So go for it. And don't look back.

Or better, do look back and pat yourself on the back for realizing if was time to change and that you moved on to something you really wanted to do.