It can be a rude experience, and it is for many
By Heidi Dawley Jun 17, 2008
The word "etiquette" has largely disappeared from everyday usage, and no wonder, perceived as it is these days as an arcane world only the leisure class has time to contemplate. Pinkies in or out while drinking tea?
But there is a very practical side to etiquette, which is making people feel comfortable, especially in unfamiliar circumstances. Note that American etiquette was born in the early years of the railroad, when people found themselves jammed for long hours in cramped railroad cars--and exposed to the grossest frontier behavior.
The new railroad car is the social networking site, and it's looking like it could use a good dose of etiquette. Fun, yes, but very Wild West, and surprisingly full of inappropriate behavior.
Nearly two thirds of people report being confused and frustrated by social interactions on sites like Facebook and MySpace, finds a new study out of Britain.
Here are a few of their biggest beefs:
-Friends who let social networking take over their lives, gassing on and on about who has posted what
-Friends posting embarrassing photos of them without asking
-Mannerless folks who respond to a phone call not by calling back but by posting a note on their page
-Poachers, people who go through your friends list and steal names
And how do you respond to pokes, messages from people that you don’t want to talk to? More to the point, how do you respond to an ex when in a relationship with someone else?
For answers to these vital questions, we can turn to the ultimate arbiters of such things in Britain, Debrett's. A firm with deep roots in the etiquette of the upper crust, it publishes "Correct Form" and also "Debrett’s Peerage & Baronetage," a who’s who of nobility.
Debrett’s believes it knows how to navigate the pitfalls of the internet.
"The trend for social networking has made new demands on traditional etiquette. Play it safe, and always employ your usual good manners when online, treating others with kindness and respect," counsels Jo Bryant, an etiquette advisor with Debrett’s, in a statement. (Unfortunately the company politely declined to find time to speak to this reporter.)
Here are Debrett’s five top tips to keep etiquette up to snuff in the modern world of social networking.
"You don’t have to make friends with people you don’t know. It’s not a competition to see how many friends you can get. Think before you poke."
"Always wait 24 hours before accepting or removing someone as a friend. The delay will help you gather your thoughts."
"Birthdays, engagements and weddings are not virtual events. Always send birthday cards or call your friends when there’s important news."
"Consider your friends’ feelings before posting pictures. Put yourself in their shoes before clicking upload."
"Think carefully about your profile picture – if you don’t want to see it in your local newspaper, don’t put it online."
***
Meanwhile, in online ratings for the week ended June 8, according to Nielsen Online, Google claimed the top spot among parent companies, followed by Microsoft, Yahoo, Time Warner and News Corp. Online. For the second straight week, the top five brands were Google, Yahoo, MSN/Windows Live, AOL Media Network and Microsoft.
Experian Group Limited regained the top advertiser spot with 5.1 million impressions, with last week’s No. 2, NexTag, dropping to second at 4.9 million. With 25.5 million ads served, Yahoo was again the top advertising site, well ahead of No. 2 MySpace at 7 million.
Sessions per person per week were up one from the previous week to 17, and domains visited per person were up one to 41. PC time per person rose 5 percent compared with the previous week to 17 hours and 52 minutes.
Top 25 parent companies Through June 8
#
Parent
Unique Audience (000)
Reach %
Time Spent per Person (hh:mm:ss)
1
Google
91,452
65.3
0:36:40
2
Microsoft
85,022
60.7
0:44:12
3
Yahoo!
78,681
56.2
1:04:55
4
Time Warner
68,551
48.9
1:15:50
5
News Corp. Online
42,553
30.4
0:50:42
6
eBay
32,904
23.5
0:46:23
7
InterActiveCorp
28,848
20.6
0:11:50
8
Amazon
24,915
17.8
0:13:56
9
Apple Computer
24,540
17.5
0:30:52
10
Wikimedia Foundation
23,650
16.9
0:11:42
11
Landmark Communications
23,246
16.6
0:14:00
12
Walt Disney Internet Group
20,655
14.7
0:25:09
13
New York Times Company
19,169
13.7
0:10:45
14
AT&T Inc.
18,466
13.2
0:19:20
15
RealNetworks, Inc.
14,349
10.2
0:16:04
16
Facebook
14,306
10.2
0:38:29
17
Viacom Digital
13,785
9.8
0:24:52
18
CNET Networks
13,382
9.6
0:06:10
19
Comcast Corp.
13,343
9.5
0:31:36
20
Verizon Communications
13,216
9.4
0:17:56
21
CraigsList
13,014
9.3
0:37:37
22
E.W. Scripps Company
12,969
9.3
0:05:47
23
Bank of America
12,501
8.9
0:21:54
24
United Online
11,090
7.9
0:29:07
25
Gannett
10,199
7.3
0:12:00
Source: Nielsen Online
Top 25 brands Through June 8
Parent
Unique Audience (000)
Reach %
Time spent per person (hh:mm:ss)
1
Google
84,337
60.2
0:26:47
2
Yahoo!
77,978
55.7
1:05:09
3
MSN/Windows Live
65,124
46.5
0:44:49
4
AOL Media Network
54,260
38.7
1:24:51
5
Microsoft
51,385
36.7
0:16:08
6
Fox Interactive Media
37,448
26.7
0:53:51
7
YouTube
31,490
22.5
0:28:41
8
eBay
27,917
19.9
0:47:07
9
Apple
24,540
17.5
0:30:52
10
Wikipedia
23,530
16.8
0:11:41
11
Amazon
21,029
15.0
0:12:23
12
Weather Channel
19,906
14.2
0:15:22
13
Blogger
17,880
12.8
0:06:04
14
Ask Search Network
16,213
11.6
0:11:28
15
CNN Digital Network
15,184
10.8
0:19:42
16
Real Network
14,349
10.2
0:16:04
17
Facebook
14,306
10.2
0:38:29
18
AT&T
13,271
9.5
0:22:56
19
About.com
13,085
9.3
0:04:01
20
Craigslist
12,996
9.3
0:37:39
21
Bank of America
11,914
8.5
0:22:06
22
Comcast
9,723
6.9
0:41:36
23
Circuit City
9,446
6.7
0:02:30
24
Glam Media
9,348
6.7
0:10:12
25
Chase
9,064
6.5
0:14:01
Source: Nielsen Online
Top 25 advertisers (excludes house ads)
Through June 8
#
Company
Impressions (000)
1
Experian Group Limited
5,111,240
2
NexTag, Inc.
4,908,324
3
Vonage Holdings Corp
3,479,443
4
College-Finder.net
2,267,572
5
Netflix, Inc.
1,512,938
6
AT&T Corp.
1,375,193
7
Deutsche Telekom AG
1,341,283
8
Sony Corporation
1,299,302
9
Edmunds.com, Inc.
1,264,166
10
Scottrade, Inc.
1,158,017
11
Samsung Electronics Co., Ltd.
1,018,833
12
Verizon Communications, Inc.
781,477
13
Discovery Communications, Inc.
704,908
14
Time Warner Inc.
676,553
15
The Walt Disney Corporation
675,306
16
InterActiveCorp
622,762
17
United Online, Inc.
592,050
18
Apollo Group, Inc.
556,946
19
Unclassified Local Advertiser
524,616
20
Privacy Matters
522,863
21
XM Satellite Radio, Inc.
482,110
22
E*TRADE FINANCIAL Corp.
451,960
23
Toyota Motor Corporation
424,872
24
General Electric Company
397,255
25
Ford Motor Company
380,212
Source: Nielsen Online, AdRelevance
Note: Nielsen Online, AdRelevance service estimated online advertising expenditures account for CPM-based image-based advertising. All reported estimated expenditures and impressions do not account for the following placement types: text only, paid fee services, performance-based campaigns, sponsorships, barters, in-stream ("pre-rolls") players, messenger applications, partnership advertising, promotions and email campaigns. AdRelevance currently does not report estimated spending for paid search advertising. Also, Nielsen Online, AdRelevance reporting data reflects advertising activity served on pages accessible via the World Wide Web and not within AOL's proprietary service.
Top 25 advertising sites (excludes house ads)
Through June 8
Company
Impressions (000)
1
Yahoo!
25,465,794
2
MySpace
7,023,637
3
MSN
3,288,433
4
MSNBC
1,133,485
5
Comcast.net
1,130,104
6
eBay
875,544
7
AOL.com
784,761
8
FOXNEWS.COM
540,294
9
The Weather Channel
530,977
10
YouTube
498,990
11
IMDb
494,779
12
New York Times
461,736
13
Photobucket
405,702
14
Facebook
377,462
15
NeoPets
368,564
16
CNN
312,809
17
Juno
253,406
18
Amazon
252,840
19
NetZero
245,509
20
ESPN.com
233,420
21
Pogo
223,384
22
Verizon Online
216,040
23
AT&T Worldnet
201,236
24
Excite
196,214
25
CNBC
181,822
Source: Nielsen Online, AdRelevance
Note: Nielsen Online, AdRelevance service estimated online advertising expenditures account for CPM-based image-based advertising. All reported estimated expenditures and impressions do not account for the following placement types: text only, paid fee services, performance-based campaigns, sponsorships, barters, in-stream ("pre-rolls") players, messenger applications, partnership advertising, promotions and email campaigns. AdRelevance currently does not report estimated spending for paid search advertising. Above data does not include any house advertising activity. Also, Nielsen Online, AdRelevance reporting data reflects advertising activity served on pages accessible via the World Wide Web and not within AOL's proprietary service.
