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'Revelations,'
pray for a speedy end
Because it's a hard slog through this NBC series
By Toni Fitzgerald
There’s always been
something slightly off about Bill Pullman, something that keeps him from
achieving true movie stardom. He’s handsome enough, with his dimpled
chin. He’s a so-so actor, no worse than a Ben Affleck. He’s appeared
in hit movies like “While You Were Sleeping,” “Independence Day”
and “A League of Their Own.”
On paper he has the necessary parts but there’s just
something missing. He’s dull as a butter knife.
It’s a problem Pullman shares with his new show, NBC’s
limited-run “Revelations,” which debuts tonight at 9 p.m.
Perhaps a better name for it would have been “Theology Lite.”
The series purports to be a dynamic exploration of the Biblical chapter
predicting the end of days, complete with lightning storms and apocalyptic
mysteries.
But the first episode feels like it’s treading water. There
are too many storylines that take too long to tie together. In a
six-episode series that’s a serious waste.
Pullman lacks charisma in a role that’s begging for it. He
can’t wipe from his face the permanent smirk he’s worn since 1987’s
“Spaceballs,” even as a dad confronting the alleged killer of his
young daughter.
Pullman plays Dr. Richard Massey, a Harvard astrophysicist
who’s become an unwilling celebrity after his daughter was murdered by a
Satan worshipper.
Sister Josepha Montafiore (Natascha McElhone) lost her sister
to the same satanic cult. The nonetheless cheery nun has been searching
the globe for evidence that Jesus Christ has returned and is walking among
us, thus fulfilling the Revelations prophecy of the end of days.
Her evidence so far includes a brain-dead girl yammering
Biblical passages in Latin, a crucifix shadow appearing on a mountain,
and, in future episodes, a virgin-born child.
This Latin-spewing lass draws Montafiore and Massey together
through a picture she draws in her vegetative state. It’s never
explained why Montafiore, who’s never heard of Massey, thinks he can
help her or why the doubting doctor could provide any insights to the
whole finding Jesus quest when he has an understandable distaste for
religion.
But presumably the two of them will unite to continue
Montafiore’s quest to find Jesus. Presumably because, following the
molasses-like pace of the pilot, they still haven’t united, which gives
them only five hours to work together on what sounds like a 5 million-hour
project.
With pop culture’s renewed interest in religion,
encompassing everything from “The Da Vinci Code” to “The Passion of
the Christ” to the Pope’s recent death, it’s a great time for a show
like “Revelations.” But this is not that show.
Quality of show (on a scale of 10): 5
“Revelations’” ambitions outweigh its capabilities.
During the first segment, we’re tossed between five different locations
where vaguely end-of-days stuff is occurring. One or two of these
scenarios fleshed out on their own would be interesting.
But “Revelations” lacks the elements that made “Da
Vinci” and “Passion” such pop-cult touchstones: a fast pace and lots
of gore.
One bright spot is relative newcomer McElhone. After a few
small movie roles, she already has better screen presence than Pullman.
Her earnest, concerned manner and status as persona non grata with
the Vatican, thanks to the Christ returns theory, gives her character a
dimension that the others lack.
And thank goodness, since she’s a nun, “Revelations”
doesn’t subject us to a needless will-they-or-won’t-they taffy pull
with Pullman’s Massey.
Positioning (on a scale of 10): 3
Even a proven show like “The West Wing” has struggled in
this slot for NBC. The competition includes ABC’s “Alias,” CBS’s
“King of Queens” and “Yes, Dear,” and of course Fox’s “American
Idol,” which will be supersized tonight to a full hour at 9 p.m.
For that alone you can wager that “Revelations” won’t
draw many viewers. And most people will assume that if they miss the first
episode in such a limited-run series, it’s hard to catch up. Not so in
this case, since nothing of significance happens in the pilot.
Cachet, or the “Arrested Development”
factor (on a scale of 10): 3
Pullman has a vague recognizability that could make people
curious. Two veterans of pulse-pounding movie thrillers, executive
producer Gavin Polone (“Panic Room”) and writer/creator David Seltzer
(“The Omen”), are behind the scenes, but they’re not even
medium-sized Hollywood names.
Reviews have been poor, though critics did enjoy making jokes
about a savior-focused series trying to deliver NBC from a poor season.
Overall (on a scale of 30): 11
NBC will bring the show back as a regular series next fall if
it’s a hit this spring. Don’t count on it.
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The Media Life
Meter
Rating
this year’s new shows |
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“Revelations” (NBC) |
Avg. for all 2004-’05 shows |
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Quality of show (on a scale of 10)
– Grading the writing, acting, premise and creativity of the show.
Is it any good? |
5 |
5.7 |
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Positioning (on a scale of 10)
– Does the show have a tough time slot or a compatible lead-in? Is
the subject matter appropriate to the network on which it airs? |
3 |
4.8 |
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Cachet, or the “Arrested Development” factor (on a scale of
10) –
Examining the reviews, the star power and the prestige the network
gets for the project. “Arrested,” for example, has high cachet
for being well reviewed and intelligent, even though its ratings
aren’t great. |
3 |
4.9 |
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TOTAL |
11 |
15.4 |
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Probability of Survival |
|
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30-27 |
Odds are this show will make it to next season. |
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26-22 |
Odds are this show will make it through this
season. |
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21-15 |
Show may not survive the season. |
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15-9 |
Show will be canceled sometime this season. |
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8 or lower |
Catch it while you can – this show may not make
it to four episodes. |
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Source: Media Life |
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April 13, 2005
©
2005
Media Life
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Toni Fitzgerald is a staff writer for
Media Life.
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